I have had the hardest time writing for this week. Normally, the message comes through easily and clearly. Not this time due to all the communication errors and confusion this retrograde brings.
I had written last week about this Mercury Retrograde bringing about big changes and focusing on your own healing! I was 100 percent correct about this healing phase, as some very quick changes happened in my life.
I lost someone very close to me, and I have been in shock. He was my friend, my soulmate, ex lover, and I have seen all signs that he was my twin flame. We were alike in many ways, but also very different at the same time!
We both loved to write and sing. We both had love for martial arts and loved to fight! We both got stuck in the wrong crowd! We both made mistakes! We were both highly intelligent, good hearted, intuitive people. We both wanted to help others so much we let it bring us down.
See, it was meant for twin flames to meet in life and come into union at young ages to aid each other on a spiritual journey! A journey of knowing yourself! A journey of healing!
Unfortunately we have all been lied too. Spiritual information has been withheld from us leaving us to our own devices to find and seek truth from within.
In my day we didn’t even know the twin flame existed. I know my mother had always said when you find the one you will know, but as heyoka, I have strong connections to people. Especially those I have known in a previous life. I considered all connections soulmate connections. As, these connections don’t always last forever, but are here to teach us what we do like and appreciate about ourselves, or what needs to be changed.
I honestly didn’t know about the twin flame until I started working as a psychic and had people asking about it. I always thought it was a load of crap as we all have strong connections to people.
Now there are so many labels for relationships such as dark cupid, karmic, past life, twin flame, soulmate, etc…it is too much to discern which is which in life.
You read so many different articles with different information which comes from the perspective of the authors and the author’s experience. It’s hard to really take all that info and put it together in your life. I know a couple of my relationships fit the twin flame coming together and separation format. All relationships were a direct reflection of myself, and as an empath I have become a reflection for partners too.
Just like most, I have survived abuse and trauma from relationships. It’s hard not to go through it at some point, and for many of us just can not be avoided.
You start throwing experiences of paranormal things happening in the world in those relationships, some things that you understand but might also seem crazy to most it can cause issues in relationships. As we are all on different parts of our learning, growing, spiritual experience. Learning at our own pace.
I definitely have my experience of the paranormal twin flame relationship. We knew each other in high school. He was always afraid to talk to me, but we were friends and hung out with the same group of people. He had written in my year book about how much he cared and how one day he would make “us” happen.
We were friends through college always passing by each other for classes. We dated for one night and shared a kiss. Then went our separate ways.
After college, we came back together for our party days where we were dating other people. We always passed by each other, went to the same parties, hung out. He always came by my house at the weirdest times when I needed a friend the most. He always just knew when to show up!
I went through an abusive relationship at the time, that I finally made the decision to get out. In fact, the man pushed me out of the picture. The Universe even made it happen for me as it needed too.
While I was getting out of my abusive relationship, he was getting married. He moved to TN and was gone for a couple years before coming back around in going through divorce.
We stayed friends during this time helping each other. I helped him financially so he could pay child support, he helped me through my trauma to learn to trust humans again. Men especially.
We even took martial arts together where he trained me in Brazilian jiu jitsu. The things I wasn’t understanding in class, he worked with me outside of class. He helped shape me into one strong woman, and it helped to bring him back to confident him.
After a while together our abusive exs started getting in the way. My ex would come tell him how terrible I was and put it in his mind I was out to get him and hurt him. His ex would come around all possessive over him and scream at him for spending time with me. It became too much. All the worry the fears in being so young and going through so much trauma already is what ripped us apart.
I finally removed all of it from my life and moved forward. I just couldn’t take anymore hurt. I also was awesome at holding onto how I felt and terrible at communicating my feelings. We shared some unreal paranormal experiences during the time we spent together. Back then, no one had answers to what it was and it really freaked us out. The paranormal also caused us to push away from each other.
I moved forward to get on my feet which is where my abusive ex tried to kill me. The martial arts my twin flame taught me saved my life. He was the first person I called for help from after it happened, but he was with his ex, and she made sure he didn’t talk to me.
We didn’t talk again for years! I went through more abuse and trauma somehow it always seemed to find me, but I was awesome at kicking it out of my life quickly.
I never put two and two together of twin flame experiencing the same things at the same time. He was going through abuses too.
It seemed that every time I got my life together, is when he would always message or call. The next message I received years later was of him and marriage to his ex. She had bought her own ring, and he just wasn’t wanting to do it. I warned him not too. His family warned him not too, but he did it anyway.
Before I go any further with this, I want you to know that I am writing this to wake you up. Abuse is very real! Abuse is something that happens to people daily. And once you start committing to government paperwork is when it really begins for most.
Anyway, buying her own ring was a red flag, a warning sign to all of us that he should not do it.
However, she convinced him through drugs it would all be ok. Warped his whole reality. I have seen this happen to so many people too. It all goes back to party days and wanting to keep that rave alive at times. It goes back to having that altered feeling of love. After all no one realized that he had been through a world of abuse already. He only wanted to be loved. To feel love!
It only went down hill from there. I watched as I pulled my life together, but it was always changed, ripped apart. I had to completely destruct and rebuild so many times. I was good to people! It never made sense as to why when these changes came so suddenly. Sometimes out of no where!
Now here it is years later and all makes sense as to why the destruction kept happening in my life. Number one, it happened from an abusive ex wanting to control my life from a distance. Number two, because my twin, my real twin was stuck in a world of abuse. The same was happening in his life that was happening in mine. Even without me being in a relationship.
After pulling my life together again, next thing I know I get messages asking if I had called him. I hadn’t talked to him since the marriage. It had been years and she was controlling his life. He wasn’t even allowed to talk to me. Yet, he thinks I have called?
His wife would stoop so low as to use fake numbers and pretend to be me.
I didn’t hear from him again for years. I lived my life and had dated, none of which worked out. These were soulmates along the way. I had finally found my feet, and now had two children to care for. I ended up taking lots of time to focus on my children and me!
Awakening hit me June of 2016 after I had my second child. I woke up to the twin flame journey all of a sudden one day. I knew it existed and I was given all sorts of information about it.
I started writing about it knowing my angel was coming to me one day. I had past relationships pop up to clear the energy. I had already made amends and cut cords. I was doing the spiritual healing work in my own life. I had some help through Kryst Clearing as I had found an awesome mentor at this time.
The Kryst Clearing worked! As after months of work I sat on my front porch one night feeling fully cleared and healed. I felt my etheric wings spread out, and felt my connection to the universe as a halo at the top of my head. The most amazing feeling I have ever experienced.
That’s when he messaged me wanting to hang out. I didn’t want to believe he was my twin flame. All the hell we had been through.
And I knew he was about to put me through more, but he needed me, and I did it anyway.
His wife was in jail. They were now both addicts, and he had survived a world of trauma. I finally let him visit and he sat and told me all about it. We talked about the things that mirrored in my life as well. We broke it all down to the spiritual. We stared at the stars downloading spiritual truths. All energy was there. We were both seeing synchronicities like crazy 11:11, 1:11 2:22 etc…
However we also spent time realizing some very dark truths about his wife.
He had already been to jail a few times to protect her and his children. To find out some very dark truths about how he didn’t protect them at all. He knew he needed to protect them from her most of all.
I watched as he cleaned up, got on his feet and got his life together. Then here she would come and it would be right back to drugs.
All he ever wanted was his family and his children, for his wife to clean up, to have a dog and a home, a positive life. He just wanted love.
But what he had was a drug addicted psychopath that tracked his phone, used his jail time to gain custody, isolated him from everyone he knew and loved, anything and everything he did trying to help her was used against him.
Everything he loved was used against him and there was no way out. He knew he was too far in at this point. Everything he did was to protect his children.
I even knew he had to stay away from me to protect me too as she destroyed my property as my warning. I still faced her afterward knowing she tracked his phone, knowing she did it. For days she talked to me hitting me up with nothing but lies about how terrible he was, his drug problem, his in and out of jail, his cheating, his this and that etc…. no mentions of her other than a home health care business to explain why she visited so many houses.
Honestly, I knew the last time I saw him would be the last time I ever saw him again. I hugged him before he left, I told him I loved him, and exactly what would happen.
I moved on with my life again. I moved out of town. I went through my own world of hell as I knew he was going through his.
We have both been going through a healing process. He spent a year in jail, and I took a year off work! I used that time to heal to focus on me, but I entered another soulmate relationship that felt like the twin flame. Connections to my soulmates are just as strong for me and even mirror the twin flame connection. All relationships mirror the changing energies of the planets and the Earth.
I can say it’s been one rough ride for both of us though in this awakening process and in finding truths. I can tell stories of the paranormal that has happened but I will save that for another time.
Its how I have come so far spiritually. Always moving forward, always clearing and healing no matter what I know and feel!
So far I have created an awesome life for myself and for my family! I knew in mirroring energies whatever I did on my end helps the twin flame. We are all connected.
I had talked to him one last time a couple months ago. He was doing better, getting his life together, had his kids here and there. I pushed him away from all the stress the abuses have caused. I feel terrible for it now, but there is no going back. Only forward.
As last Saturday, my twin flame died. I felt it, and I knew it. I knew it was coming. Even my painting of the hole in the heart is a reflection of what was to come. I found out about it days later and I have been so upset ever since!
His death was quick and tragic, but his death is also waking up a small town to truths of corruption. It needed to happen.
I actually took the time to travel to the funeral. Of course, I had too!! I love his family to death! I have been out of touch! I had to disconnect to help myself spiritually.
I had to move to rid myself of the drama! I moved to the perfect spot to do so!
On the way I saw all synchronicities. 11:11, 222, 22, 888, 555, 666. All car tags added up to 11, 22, 7 or 8 (or was something to do to keep from over thinking). And of course 666 showed up as I got closer as a sign of the abuse and trauma he endured. The numbers 888 were seen to show signs of success in finding peace.
I haven’t seen so many synchronicities in a while.
On the way home, all I saw were 888, 11:11, and 22. Signs of success, intuition, and peace.
So, I am writing this during this healing retrograde period for my own peace, and for others to help you find peace.
Sometimes in the twin flame journey, it is predestined. Some things are meant to happen. We may not understand why, however in my situation, I understand fully. There is so much more I could write about, but I will save that for a book.
My twin flame story is one of abuse and trauma, and some really insane paranormal experiences. It is one of what happens when someone is lost and cannot find the truth through all the abuse and trauma. As abuse and trauma keep you overly focused on what is happening rather than the spiritual healing you need.
It’s this story that helps to teach people of truth. Abuse is real. Everyone thinks it is so easy to leave. Get up and get out! It’s what is best!
However at times, it’s not so easy when children are involved, in wanting to protect them.
If you have experienced red flags, warning signs, this is your chance to get out before it gets any worse!
Find a friend to stay with, stay with family, save money. As the longer you stay, the worse it becomes.
Any type of control over your life is a form of abuse! It normally comes from someone that just will not control his/her own. This is not you fault. You can control yourself!
Anyone that loves you will allow you to be yourself! Will support you in everything you choose to do and will lift you up.
Anything that is bringing you down, making you feel trapped is abuse. Tell someone!!! Talk to a friend! A family member! A teacher! A coach! Talk to someone you can trust! Get help!
Find those that will support you through your major changes, and make a plan for yourself! That plan may not be easy, it may take years to accomplish your goals. Better to have years of struggling to support yourself, than years full of more trauma!
Don’t let your story be like mine. A story of pain and suffering as the longer you stick with it the worse it gets. As we woke up to the journey too late.
You are blessed to know the twin flame exists simply by waking up to the journey. You KNOW who your twin flame is when you meet. You have that opportunity to help each other to heal. To fully heal from all trauma in life! You were brought together for a reason to help each other. To learn, to grow together. Try not to let emotions get in the way of your relationship.
There is all information readily available about twin flames and clearing to bring you together. For many of us, this journey was unknown at first. It was meant for us to walk the path of separation and coming together to be able to help others.
You are blessed in knowing so that you don’t have to walk the same path.
Many young people now are blessed to experience awakening so early. To wake up to these truths of finding yourself. You know when you meet the right person. You feel it.
It feels like home! It is comfortable, a strong magnetic pull! There are no abuses, and clear communication with twins as you communicate physically and telepathically.
Sure you might be upset at one another but that unconditional love stops it before it gets ugly. You might have issues but you always come back together “in love”!
The twin flames are not toxic, but can seem toxic when one or both is going through toxic situations. Especially to others around. Listen to your inner intuition before you listen to anyone elses! Most people do not understand your connection! Even those close to you will not understand. Only you know!
I truly did not want to believe my twin flame was my twin flame. I did not want to believe I have endured so much, but we both did. Both had abusive relationships, thousands of dollars stolen thanks to these relationships, lots if trouble on top of it. More trouble than it was worth.
Cleansing and clearing only goes so far as we all have choices in life but sometimes the twin is too far in, and you have to remove yourself to heal. Unfortunately we found out we were twins way too late. No way we could be together in this life with the life he was living. The life he just couldn’t get out of.
I always knew he had to earn his wings I knew it when I felt my etheric wings! But I never thought death would take him. I always had hope he would be able to pull it together. I realize now that all had to happen for a reason.
And now, he has earned his wings. He will always be with me! Helping me to help others by sending loving healing energy!
No matter how hard it is, it had to be this way for us to feel whole and complete. To have the peace we deserve in life without all the attachments drama and stresses. I am slowly making peace with this process as I feel the love I am ready to send to others!
I am blessed to be with someone that does love me, that does understand it. That fully supports me in everything I do now!
And with the twin flame helping from afar! Now it’s time for a new mirror! A new life!
As we all are reflections of each other no matter what the label is for it!
We are all ONE! We all find strong connections to each other and these connections are no coincidence! Stop trying to label it and focus on your inner peace for your journey.
I know I have always heard that not all of us can be with the twin flame. They are right. There is a reason for this in being able to teach our children the truth of how you meet someone in childhood. That person is your one. You will know, as they always come back around. The Universe sets it up this way for good reason. So that you can help each other to learn and grow.
Had we known this growing up, the world would have been a better place, but, we have all been lied too.
So who is to say anyone has the right information. But you…your intuition.
All is within… you know the truth. Follow your truth! Follow your heart! Don’t let temptation or others get to you. As once you know, you know to do it right from the start.
I am so sorry in my journey that it was too late! But I do believe in magic…
Magic in this journey exists!
I can’t wait to see what kind of magic this brings into my life!
I wish you all the love, light, and magical blessings in your life!